Ohioans enshrine murder into the state constitution

Congratulations to Ohio for finally coming to the enlightened, and woke realization that murder of defenseless innocent babies should be celebrated!

On Tuesday, November 7th, 2023, Ohio - a traditionally deeply conservative, Christian, and Republican state - somehow voted to ammend their constitution for the 207th time and finally embraced the killing of their children and grand-children through all of their first nine months of life. Not only that, but this right was placed in the Bill of Rights section of the state constitution, guaranteeing a fresh source of soylent for generations to come.

The featured image at the top of this article shows a group of Columbus Ohio women reacting to learning the election results. Women across Ohio began cheering with tears-of-joy that they can finally murder their own pre-born children right in their own state.

We interviewed some of them to get their reactions to Ohio’s full legalization of abortion through all nine months of pregnancy.

Anita Hatchet

“I’m so happy that I can finally kill my preborn babies!” “Anita Hatchett

Local Columbus activist, Anita Hatchett, was there first-hand to learn the exciting news. When asked for her first reaction, Ms. Hatchett replied, “I’m so happy that I can finally kill my preborn babies! I’m going to go out and celebrate with a drink at my local bar, hook up with a dude, and get pregnant so I can run right out and exercise my constitutional right to kill my baby as soon as possible!”

Ms. Hatchet then ran gleefully from the room, leaving her copy of the pamphlet “Think before you drink” behind along with the condom that was stapled to the bottom of the document.

Eva Seration

“I love my children too much to let them live…” ~ Eva Seration

Eva Seration, 24, is a proud cat owner who spent hundreds of hours knocking on doors and handing out pro-abortion marketing leaflets. Her reaction to the news was one of love.

“I love my children too much to let them live in this terrible patriarchal, male-dominated society filled with ‘peace’ and ‘prosperity’, so as soon as I know that I’m pregnant and feel that innocent baby kick inside me, I rub my belly and say my good-bye’s. Then drive up to Michigan to have him/her/they lovingly disected. It’s science. Now I get [to] do this right here in Ohio. Killing my baby has never been so convenient. And it saves gas! That saves money and saves the planet. Smart.”

Ellie Monation

“I’m not ready be be a grandmother yet” ~ Ellie Monation

Ellie, 37, is a single mother of one daughter. Ellie was once raped by her ex-husband while she slept. Though Ellie cannot remember the event, it still left her scarred and she now suffers from PTSD. She is encouraging her 18 year old married daughter to have an abortion because, “it (the birth) would make me feel old, and I’m not ready to be a grandmother yet. Besides, we know now that all sex is rape.”

We here at The Daily Stinger fully support Ellie’s decision, because nothing tops off rape like a good murder of the only person who could not possibly be at fault.

Upon hearing the election results, Ellie immediately began calling for abortions of all male babies and the castration of all men.

Krissy Chan

“I would be happy to raise any of these other women’s children for them” ~ Krissy Chan

We also found Krissy, aged 28, who has been trying unsuccessfully to conceive a child with her husband for the past 7 years crying in a darkened corner. We at the Stinger couldn’t understand her lack of enthusiasm and realized that her obvious hatred needed to be exposed. This reporter dug in and asked Krissy the tough questions.

“It just hurts so much to see these women killing their children when I want a baby so badly and can’t have one,” Krissy said.

Krissy continued in this selfish and reckless behavior thoughout the interview. She went on to say “I would be happy to raise any of these other women’s children for them”. We find that claim highly unlikely, and typical of what the Jesus people say they will do.

We last saw Krissy trying to adopt a fourth child on top of the two kids she and her husband are fostering. This wreckless behavior isn’t love, it’s constraining the family’s resources!

Cheers

Here’s to you Ohio, ending a male-dominated, conservative society of oppression.

At the time of this writing, abortion in Ohio was extremely limited, and only about 66 children are killed on average per day - that’s only 1 schoolbus of children that die every 24 hours!

We’re sure now that abortion is fully legalized through all nine months of pregancy that this number will go down, and only those who really need it - like the women above - will exercise their constitutional right to kill their own children.

O! H!– I! O! OOOOOHIO!